Ah, Mississippi. It was a good run for you.You discovered that America is still totally cool with the racism inherent in virtually everything associated with your school, and the fact that your state is the closest thing the U.S. has to a third world country. You were able to forget that your state has no pro sports and really no good reason for anyone to visit. Then it all came crashing down because of a dumbass decision at the end of Saturday's game. I don't blame this southern belle for her reaction in the least.
It’s time for the 1st Annual Eligible Receiver Midseason Awards in which we use our excellent football intelligence and logical deduction skills to confer completely made up awards to NFL players. Also, lots of pictures. Enjoy!
As I’m sure all you loyal readers know, Makeda & I wrote a post last week about the best & worst NFL players in Halloween costumes. It was neither scientific nor comprehensive, but rather two friends having some fun at the expensive of professional athletes. In exciting news, that piece got picked up by NFL Memes & posted to The Daily Snark website. We got understandably excited about our brief brush with fame, but then it got even more exciting because we got a hater. Yes, ladies & gentlemen, we have arrived. An actual comment from our post on The Daily Snark:
Worst judges ever. I could find a group of 13 year olds with more logical opinions. THREAD GETS A 0/10 FUCK YOU MAKEDA AND LAUREN.
Thank you, random internet troll for making us feel special. Please note that here at Eligible Receiver we have never pretended to be logical, intelligent or have any idea what we’re talking about. We belong perfectly on a website called The Daily Snark, not The Daily Boring Logical People. If you’re looking for logic, look elsewhere. Troll on, motherfucker.
I watched the games on Sunday with the usual crew (minus Makeda who was en route back to DC from Tennessee). It’s important to note that the two male members of this crew were horrifically hungover from the previous night’s Halloween celebrations, during which one guy almost got us kicked out of a bar for stealing someone’s mask and throwing it away and the other guy tried to tell me that his “head of veterans was hard”. Despite the Gatorade chugging, groans of pain and pure insanity coming from these two, I was probably the most confused (and definitely the most sober) person on the couch on Sunday. How in the world did Nick Foles tie up Peyton Manning’s touchdown record? Who the hell is Riley Cooper? Did the Bucs really start off their game against the Seahawks 21-0? Did the Jets bounce back from their Cincinnati massacre and beat the Saints? IS THIS ALL A HALLOWEEN/DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TRICK?
Vikings at Packers Saturday 8:00PM ET
I can't believe the Packers couldn't put away the Vikings last week. Yet, it was clear to see how. The Packers have a serious problem with stopping the run. Especially someone as ridiculously talented as Adrian Peterson. An Adrian Peterson who had the goal of beating Dickerson's record.
So this week, we get to do it all over again, but we get to do it at Lambeau. The Packers are going to be in front of a home crowd which should help. However, Aaron Rodgers does like playing in domes better, and there was that wildly disappointing game last year, when the Pack had a bye, and home field advantage, but still lost to the New York Football Giants. So, home field advantage may not be such an advantage.
However, it stung last year for the Packers to go 15-1, have a bye, and to lose. They have to be thinking about that right now while going into the playoffs. Especially having lost last week to the Vikings. However, the Packers did get themselves into a 13-0 hole to start the game. That meant that the Vikings got to run the ball all day and exploit the Packers deficiency.
This will be Ponders first playoff experience. The Vikings are white-hot right now. They were counted out as being able to make it into the playoffs just a few weeks ago, and oh how they have proved everyone wrong. They have the drive, they have Peterson, and they have a second year quarterback who is peaking at just the right time.
The Packers are going to have to use their no-huddle offense and get some points on the board fast. That will limit the Vikings ability to just use the run as their only weapon. Don't forget, the first time these two teams met, despite Peterson again putting up crazy numbers, the Packers still got the W.
Randall Cobb looks like he will be back, as well as Jordy Nelson. Trusty Charles Woodson will be back, too. The defense could use his on-field leadership.
I'd like to say I'm excited for this game. As anyone who has a beloved team knows, it's hard to get excited. You're mostly just nervous. I don't want the Pack to be out in the first round.
So, as always, GO PACK.
Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Francisco. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook at madelinefresco.com.
Week 17! There is no need to talk about players, or team personalities, it's the time of the year of win or go home, win and get a bye, and still for the sorry few -- playing for some trace amount of respect.
Somehow, the Cowboys managed to do it again. They are like the annoying little brother you have to take everywhere with you, because Mom said so. Why, oh, why do the Cowboys have to be considered the game of the week! Why do they get the prime time slot? Ugh. It's because it's win or go home for the Cowboys. But if you don't like the Cowboys, which a lot of people don't, we have to watch this game. This is why a lot of us hate the Cowboys -- because they are shoved down our throats. I know this is one football fan who hopes they do the latter, and GO HOME!
Also, I like Washington. I like RGIII. He's like Aaron Rodgers, you're happy he's your quarterback, not just because he is an exceptional athlete, but because you would want to hang out with the guy. Sorry Andrew Luck, you look like a psychopath. In fact, if I saw Mr. Luck walking on my side of the street, as a woman, I might cross over to the other side of the street as soon as I got a chance. Tony Romo, I wouldn't cross over to the other side of the street if I saw you, I'd take the opportunity to punch you in your face and wipe away that stupid grin of yours. But I digress.
The real game of the week to watch is ...
Week 14 is unique this time around in the NFL. Almost every single game has playoff implications. However, there is only one game in which the outcome directly impacts each teams playoff conference and divisional standings. That game is the Vikings (6-6) versus the Bears (fifth seed 8-4). The Vikings are in a very hot race for the last NFC Wildcard spot -- doing battle against the Bucs, Cowboys, and Redskins. Seattle should be very, very wary about holding onto the 6th seed, considering all these teams are banging on the door of that 6th seed spot.
With 4 games left, the NFC North is still wide open. Chicago and Green Bay have been playing flip-flop the last few weeks with who is the NFC North division winner, and who takes the 5th seed in the NFC. But, as I said, there are 4 games left. A lot can happen.
However, there is one game that will be the most watched game this week, and it's not the Bears vs the Vikings. Each team playing has locked and loaded a playoff spot. This game very well could be the AFC Championship game. That game is ...
I'm pretty sure this is the most obvious thing for me to ever lead a post with, but....
DID YOU SEE TONY ROMO’S GAME ON SUNDAY?
My friend Anthony threw a PERFECT 2nd half. PERFECT. In the whole game he threw for 303 yards, 3 touchdowns and....wait for it... NO INTERCEPTIONS. He had a career-high passer rating of 150.5 AND broke a Cowboys record for most touchdowns EVER by a quarterback. WHAT A STUD. And in case you're not already in love, a little present for you:
Happy Christmas from Antonio Ramiro Romo! And now onto other studs & duds....
These are the games I will be watching, plus one that you can watch, if you want, but I won't ...
Lions at Vikings 1:00PM ET
Lions are 4-4 and the Vikings are 5-4 in the NFC North. This is the toughest division in the NFL. Both teams have seen each other countless times before. There is bad blood. The Vikings, once the darlings of the NFC North, have lost their last two. There are many questioning this team right now. The Lions, on the other hand, have won their last two. Yet, they don't seem to have the same consistency of last year. Plus, too many come from behind, fourth quarter wins. The Lions need to gain consistency and play well in all four quarters of the game if they want to win this game.
More importantly, the Packers are 6-3. I know ... I'm supposed to be reporting on the Lions at Vikings game, but I can't help myself. I need the Lions to win so that the Vikings don't go 6-4. Yet, if the Lions win then they will be inching closer and closer to my Acme Packers. Yikes is the NFC North a tough division. But I can worry about the Lions later. Right now, GO LIONS.
These are the games I will be watching ...
Cardinals at Packers 1:00 PM ET
I know, I know. I love the Packers. But here is the thing. The NFC is a much tougher conference than the AFC. The NFC North and the NFC West are the toughest of the tough, with steep competition within these divisions. Each of these teams are already in a fight for the playoffs. At first, it seemed the Vikings would take the lead in the NFC North, now it's the Bears. Where does that leave Green Bay? The 49ers look like they will win the NFC West, but where does that leave Seattle and Arizona? I'll tell you where, it leaves all of these teams battling to be in the playoffs any which way they can -- either as a divisional winner or a wildcard. That Seattle/Packers game is looking more and more important as the season goes on.
What games should you watch in week 7? This time my job is hard, because there are a lot of good games being played. I think if you're a fan of the NFL, or just want to be in the know, you need to plan your Sunday around watching football. There's nothing you can do about it.