College Football Week 9: Two Mississippi, One Mississippi...

Ah, Mississippi. It was a good run for you.You discovered that America is still totally cool with the racism inherent in virtually everything associated with your school, and the fact that your state is the olemilk.0closest thing the U.S. has to a third world country. You were able to forget that your state has no pro sports and really no good reason for anyone to visit. Then it all came crashing down because of a dumbass decision at the end of Saturday's game. I don't blame this southern belle for her reaction in the least.


In Honor of the THS Class of 2004: College Football Superlatives


This past weekend was my ten year high school reunion. My fellow classmates and I had an incredible time and are already looking forward to 2024. So this post is in honor and inspired by the Tavares High School Class of 2004. Go Dawgs! (I was always meant to be a Georgia fan.)

The reunion began with the Homecoming football game, which was won 27-20! It was great to remember all of the good times in that stadium. Saturday night while we were getting our party on, the organizers handed out 10 Year Later Superlatives that inspired this post. Here are superlatives for the first half of the college football season.


College Recap Week 9: Cocks, Chokes, and Katherine Webb

Writer's note: she can wear jorts if she wants to.

"I ran out & screamed so I wldn't wake my kids, came in & realized I scared em half to death, rocked em 2 sleep again singin."

"I went to the fridge and took a long draw off the "Pepto-bismooth" bottle!"

Those words are from Victoria Boyce and Kimberly Tuten, Gamecock fans, on Twitter, describing her reaction to South Carolina's win over Missouri Saturday. Why do we love college football? Because kids who are not getting paid beg for a chance to play in pain because they want it that much. Because an entire season can come down to a missed 24-yard field goal by a sophomore kicker in Week 9.

In a related note, why do we hate college football? Because an entire season can come down to a missed 24-yard field goal by a sophomore kicker in Week 9. "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view."


College Recap Week 6: Bad Picks, Bad Clowney, and Rejection

UGA gets Missouri next week. We haven't forgotten.
Actually, ignore this. Go ahead and panic and ignore the turtle.

Actually, ignore this. Go ahead and panic and ignore the turtle.

I must begin this week with a confession: my name is Allen, and I picked Maryland to beat Florida State. I was swayed by the feminine wiles of a fellow writer. This is what happens when you're a token male. In my defense, I'm still 19-7 overall in college picks this season, so if you're gambling based on my suggestions (and I know you are), your thumbs are most likely unbroken as of now.

Moving on, then, from a Terrapin team that didn't show up to a Gamecock who showed up but refused to play.


College Recap Week 5: Dawgs On Top, Kiffin Off the Bus, and Derek Dooley


laneBefore we begin mocking Lane Kiffin, let us pause and reflect on these facts: he is 38 years old. He is rich beyond the wildest dreams of the average person. And despite his complete failure at job after job, he will inevitably be a head coach again. None of those things are true of us, but there is this: we've never been pulled off a bus and fired in an airport parking lot.


College Recap Week 3: Roald Dahl, Motel 6, Dumb Cheeseheads, and That A&M Guy

It's coming again. Be prepared.
It's coming again. Be prepared.

Johnny Double Heisman. It's coming. Be prepared.


Let's just get this out of the way: Johnny Manziel is the best college football player in the world. That's right, not just America, the world. Even redshirt junior Jean-Paul Nexistepas of the Sorbonne can't compare.


The Dirty Two Dozen - Part 2: College Football's Next 12

The leftovers

As the token male here at Eligible Receiver, I get the bottom end of the rankings (insert your own joke here). This year's 12-24 teams in the preseason AP rankings include a pretty prestigious group of names: since the AP started awarding national championships in 1936, these teams have won it all a total of 30 times. Yes, I counted. Yes, it took a while. These are the services I provide free of charge just for you, beloved reader. So second 12 or not, there is certainly potential here. One or more of these teams could very well end up taking part in the final BCS fiasco under the current system. Here's a closer look, and in case you missed it, check out Jacqueline's thoughts on the Top 12 here.


The Big 10 Should Quit Right Now


The Big 10 should quit right now. This year is a Pac 12/SEC showdown with a side show from the Big 12. Michigan State's victory over Boise State was underwhelming. The 'new era' of Penn State football was a shit show with a loss to Ohio. Wisconsin barely beat Northern Iowa. Only Nebraska and Ohio State looked like legitimate teams, but they were playing Southern Mississippi and Miami (OH), respectively. Nothing to brag about. Most importantly, center stage on Saturday night Alabama made Michigan look like a Division II school. So seriously, the Big 10 should pack it up after Week 1. This is only going to get more embarrassing from here on out.