Fantasy Scoreboard

Fantasy Scoreboard 2014: Week 1

I woke up Sunday like it was Christmas morning. Much like Christmas, I spent the day in a drunken haze except this time I was at ye olde college bar instead of my parents’ house and with my best girlfriends instead of my parents. There was also a bit of flirting with potentially underage men, but we don’t need to go into too much detail about that.

Because it’s a college bar in a college town, there was a wide variety of teams represented and a lot of yelling that made it difficult to distinguish between what was happening on the various TVs, especially during the 11 (eleven!!!) early games. Luckily things quieted down during the afternoon games and I was able to focus completely on the Cowboys game…. at least until the frantically ordered bourbon set in. That said, here are the winners and losers in the fantasy world this past week, at least as viewed through my post-Christmas headache. Yikes.

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Fantasy Scoreboard: Week 15

Making this is an hour of my life I'll never get back AND I DON'T EVEN CARE

This post is a little late because I’ve been in too much of a Cowboys-induced rage the past 48 hours to even think about writing it. The good news is that I’ll Miles Your Austin is in the championship and we all know that fantasy is more important than real life… wait a minute. Strike that, reverse it. I’m going to go stick my head in an oven now.

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Fantasy Scoreboard: Week 11

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Shoutout to the Kansas City Chiefs for doing what we all knew they'd do by  losing to the Denver Broncos. You earn the Not Nearly as Good as Your Record Indicates Award. The highest accolades go to the Carolina Panthers for beating the New England Patriots last night. You officially get the Actually Good, Not Just Sneaky Good Award. See you in the playoffs.

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Fantasy Scoreboard: Week 9

A picture's worth all my words

Editor’s Note:

As I’m sure all you loyal readers know, Makeda & I wrote a post last week about the best & worst NFL players in Halloween costumes. It was neither scientific nor comprehensive, but rather two friends having some fun at the expensive of professional athletes. In exciting news, that piece got picked up by NFL Memes & posted to The Daily Snark website. We got understandably excited about our brief brush with fame, but then it got even more exciting because we got a hater. Yes, ladies & gentlemen, we have arrived. An actual comment from our post on The Daily Snark:

Worst judges ever. I could find a group of 13 year olds with more logical opinions. THREAD GETS A 0/10 FUCK YOU MAKEDA AND LAUREN.

Thank you, random internet troll for making us feel special. Please note that here at Eligible Receiver we have never pretended to be logical, intelligent or have any idea what we’re talking about. We belong perfectly on a website called The Daily Snark, not The Daily Boring Logical People. If you’re looking for logic, look elsewhere. Troll on, motherfucker.

I watched the games on Sunday with the usual crew (minus Makeda who was en route back to DC from Tennessee). It’s important to note that the two male members of this crew were horrifically hungover from the previous night’s Halloween celebrations, during which one guy almost got us kicked out of a bar for stealing someone’s mask and throwing it away and the other guy tried to tell me that his “head of veterans was hard”. Despite the Gatorade chugging, groans of pain and pure insanity coming from these two, I was probably the most confused (and definitely the most sober) person on the couch on Sunday. How in the world did Nick Foles tie up Peyton Manning’s touchdown record? Who the hell is Riley Cooper? Did the Bucs really start off their game against the Seahawks 21-0? Did the Jets bounce back from their Cincinnati massacre and beat the Saints? IS THIS ALL A HALLOWEEN/DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TRICK?

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Fantasy Scoreboard: Week 8

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Things that made me happy about this week: Megatron, Megatron, Megatron. Things that didn't make me happy: Cowboys, Cowboys, Cowboys. I did manage to beat one of our top players in my fun league this week, even after starting Michael '-0.7' Vick at QB, so that's pretty alright. Studs, duds, surprises and a really long rant about Dez Bryant below.

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