Tom Brady

Go For Two: NFL Week 13 Games To Watch

The longest yard. (40 yards on a one-yard TD pass)

Here are the week 13 games to watch.

Seattle (7-4) at San Francisco (7-4) Thursday 8:30PM EST: Whoa. This is a HUGE game. Like, super-duper, out-of-control, don't turn the dial HUGE. It has massive implications not just for the NFC West, but the rest of the NFC, well, save for the NFC South. The NFC South is just utter shit. The Lions, Packers, Seahawks, Niners, Cowboys and Eagles are all in the playoff race and those 2 wildcard spots are going to be really, really tough to get this year.

San Francisco has squeaked out some very close wins, games in my opinion, they did not deserve to win. Jim Harbaugh and company barely beat the Giants when Eli threw 5 interceptions. Then, the Niners barely beat Washington (17-13). This is not an impressive team. However, with wins comes a grace period. They have the ability to turn it around and get more definitive wins. Now is the time to start doing that as the Niners will face Seattle again December 14th.

This game is at home. If the Niners want to split the series, this is their best shot.

Niners may not be able to rely heavily on Frank Gore as Seattle only allows 88.4 rushing yards per game. Seattle is number 6 overall in rush defense. That means the Niners may be forced to pass more with Kaepernick. Kaepernick got a little lippy this week stating he will pass to whomever he wants.

Um, okay.

Sherman had his most favorite rant when Kaepernick last threw to "whoever's open".

Sherman said "When you try me with a sorry receiver like Crabtree, that's the result you're going to get. Don't you ever talk about me."

Good stuff.

Seattle needs to be careful of the sudden explosive play of the Niners. Even when the Niners look done for, they are not, like the game against the Saints. 1:34 left in the 4th quarter, 4th and 10, and Kaepernick saves the game, if not the season, with a 51 yard play to Crabtree.

This game will decide playoffs. Expect an insane level of play from both these teams.

Too cute

Patriots (9-2) at Packers (8-3) Sunday 4:25PM EST: The Patriots versus the Lions game told us a lot about the Patriots. The Lions had the best interior line in football and Brady still had 4-5 seconds to throw the ball. When Brady has that much time to throw the ball, someone is going to get open. In fact, there were times during that game when receivers were not covered at all. The receivers know their routes and execute them well. The Pats offense has really gelled in the last few weeks. It is very hard to defend against a perfectly timed comeback route. The attack of the Patriots is the short passing game. They move the chains and take time off the clock -- keys to beating the Packers by keeping Aaron off the field.

Even cuter

Even cuter

If that isn't scary enough, the Pats can also chew up Aaron's time on the field with their run game. Blount had 2 TD's against the Lions and 78 yards. The week before, Jonas Gray rushed for 199 yards and had four touchdowns. The Patriots BENCHED HIM against the Lions because he was late to practice. Who benches a guy with that kind of production? The mother-fing Patriots do.

Yes, the Packers have an amazing offense and can totally handle this game. They just have to be on the field to do that.

That puts the game on our defense.

Oh, yeah. Crap.

Broncos (8-3) at Kansas City (7-4) Sunday 8:30PM EST: Broncos are only slightly favored for this AFC divisional game. However, let's not forget that the Broncos are still 8-3 and have Peyton at the helm. With a gun to your head, who do you pick Alex Smith over Peyton Manning. Never in the history of the world would that happen.

Yes, the quarterback is not the entire team, so it's a different scenario when one tries to pick the winner of this game.

Denver has wavered in their run defense, allowing 228 yards on 54 carries. That bodes well for Kansas City running back Jamaal Charles. With Denver's number one weapon Julius Thomas perhaps still sidelined with an ankle injury, Denver could also struggle on the offensive side of the ball.

This game will give us NFC fans a chance to look at an important AFC match up. Should be a good game all around.

SI cover don't jinx us!

 

Game of Thrones: NFL Edition -- House Lannister

Last week at Eligible Receiver, we brought you GoT House Stark. Well, this week, it's House Lannister.

This post contains every single spoiler known to man.

1. Tywin Lannister is ... Bill Belichick.

One can not start the Lannister house off without beginning with the patriarch, Tywin Lannister. Tywin is cunning. He plays the game of thrones with expert precision. He takes no prisoners. He is not above breaking the rules. He will let anyone go if they do not serve his purpose -- even his own family. Tywin sets up his own son, Tyrion. He uses Jaime's love of Tyrion against him.

Belichick is ruthless. He doesn't care who he lets go. Randy Moss? Gone. Okay, while we can see that one, what about one of their own? One they shouldn't let go? One that even golden boy Brady doesn't want to see let go? Yup. Bye-bye Wes Welker. Belichick plays for keeps. Belichick and the rules? Doesn't matter. We all remember Spygate.

2. Jaimie Lannister is ... Tom Brady.

Female perspective here, Jaime Lannister is hot. Tom Brady is hot. They are both extremely skilled in their position, Brady as a quarterback, Jaime as a warrior. Jaime questions his place in history, has he really been a good warrior in the Kingsguard. Brady questioned himself when he didn't get picked high in the draft. People love and hate Jaime Lannister. The same can be said of Tom Brady.

3. Cersei Lannister is ... Jerry Jones.

First off, yes, Cersei is gorgeous, and Jerry is not. However, Cersei is a highly skilled master manipulator. The same can be said for Jerry Jones. Really? America's team? That alone is a great manipulation of the media. While both have lofty expectations and an abundant amount of ego, they never really come out on top, do they? The Cowboys are not exactly winners, and Cersei has lost quite a few family members, and the ones she wants gone, are still alive. They both are blindly ignorant to logic.

 

4. Joffrey Lannister is ... Roger Goodell.

Joffrey is pure evil. He enjoys torturing people just to watch them suffer. He is juvenile, wicked, and petulant. Joffrey doesn't listen to anybody, almost takes pride in it. Sound like a certain commissioner? I could list the numerous amount of things Goodell is at fault for. One, namely, the referee strike and the types of replacements that he allowed to ref games.

5. Tyrion Lannister is ... Wes Welker.

Keeping it in the Patriots family, Wes Welker displays a lot of the characteristics of Tyrion. Small in stature, but big in heart. Both are often underestimated ... both equally surprise. Both have a love hate relationship with their "father". In this case Wes Welker with the patriarch Bill Belichick. Wes thought that he was part of the Patriots family, until, well, he wasn't. Wes Welker (and Tom Brady for that matter) got a little too cocky with their status in the family, and Wes Welker was out the door. Tyrion is known for his wit, but sometimes, he overestimates himself, and that very wit gets him into some serious trouble. Both Tyrion and Wes Welker should have known their place. Wes Welker found himself out of a job in the Patriots organization. Tyrion was warned to do what he was told, but could not help himself on judgement day, and went off on the people of King's Landing and on his father. Yet, Tyrion, like Wes Welker, always find themselves on top. Wes Welker found himself with the very good Denver Broncos, and Tyrion, well, he found himself not dead and on a boat.

 

 

 

***Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Francisco. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook at madelinefresco.com. Her second book THE CHOICE, is available on Kindle at Amazon. Her third book ANGUISH, is available for Kindle at Amazon.com

Go For Two: 10 Random Thoughts - Quarterbacks Addition

1. Why does Phillip Rivers look like such a douchepod? He looks like a guy you would want to beat up in school.

2. Andrew Luck looks like a caveman. Good comeback though.

3. Colin Kaepernick sounds like he's trying to pass a kidney stone when he calls out his plays. It's distracting.

4. When it was suggested to Matt Stafford that maybe he go to a quarterback guru to help him with his footwork and improve his game -- he said he didn't need a guru. Really? Who wouldn't want to improve themselves? That's the second biggest problem the Lions have after Schwartz. Well, now first.

5. Packer nation thanks the Chicago Bears organization for resigning Jay Cutler.

6. Peyton Manning is awesome. There is no way around it. Mentally = awesome. Physically = awesome. Perseverance = awesome. Skill level = awesome.

7. Eli Manning is not awesome. (Un)awesome. Awesome(less).

8. Will anyone give Tom Brady a high-five during the Patriot's divisional playoff game? Poor guy.

9. Kyle Orton should become backup quarterback in Denver. I'm just saying, with hair like that, he belongs in a place where weed is legal.

10. Alex Smith has the worst luck ever. Honestly, I wouldn't ride on an airplane with that guy.

______________________________________________________________________

Madeline Fresco is a novelist who lives in San Francisco. She is the author of CROSSED THE LINE, available for Kindle at Amazon.com, for Nook at Barnes & Noble, and as an ePub at other eBook retailers. You can also listen to her novel as a free, serialized audiobook at madelinefresco.com.

Fantasy Scoreboard: Week 9

A picture's worth all my words

Editor’s Note:

As I’m sure all you loyal readers know, Makeda & I wrote a post last week about the best & worst NFL players in Halloween costumes. It was neither scientific nor comprehensive, but rather two friends having some fun at the expensive of professional athletes. In exciting news, that piece got picked up by NFL Memes & posted to The Daily Snark website. We got understandably excited about our brief brush with fame, but then it got even more exciting because we got a hater. Yes, ladies & gentlemen, we have arrived. An actual comment from our post on The Daily Snark:

Worst judges ever. I could find a group of 13 year olds with more logical opinions. THREAD GETS A 0/10 FUCK YOU MAKEDA AND LAUREN.

Thank you, random internet troll for making us feel special. Please note that here at Eligible Receiver we have never pretended to be logical, intelligent or have any idea what we’re talking about. We belong perfectly on a website called The Daily Snark, not The Daily Boring Logical People. If you’re looking for logic, look elsewhere. Troll on, motherfucker.

I watched the games on Sunday with the usual crew (minus Makeda who was en route back to DC from Tennessee). It’s important to note that the two male members of this crew were horrifically hungover from the previous night’s Halloween celebrations, during which one guy almost got us kicked out of a bar for stealing someone’s mask and throwing it away and the other guy tried to tell me that his “head of veterans was hard”. Despite the Gatorade chugging, groans of pain and pure insanity coming from these two, I was probably the most confused (and definitely the most sober) person on the couch on Sunday. How in the world did Nick Foles tie up Peyton Manning’s touchdown record? Who the hell is Riley Cooper? Did the Bucs really start off their game against the Seahawks 21-0? Did the Jets bounce back from their Cincinnati massacre and beat the Saints? IS THIS ALL A HALLOWEEN/DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TRICK?

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Fantasy Scoreboard: Week 8

dez-bryant-tantrum-tony-romo-dallas-cowboys

Things that made me happy about this week: Megatron, Megatron, Megatron. Things that didn't make me happy: Cowboys, Cowboys, Cowboys. I did manage to beat one of our top players in my fun league this week, even after starting Michael '-0.7' Vick at QB, so that's pretty alright. Studs, duds, surprises and a really long rant about Dez Bryant below.

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