Ah, Mississippi. It was a good run for you.You discovered that America is still totally cool with the racism inherent in virtually everything associated with your school, and the fact that your state is the olemilk.0closest thing the U.S. has to a third world country. You were able to forget that your state has no pro sports and really no good reason for anyone to visit. Then it all came crashing down because of a dumbass decision at the end of Saturday's game. I don't blame this southern belle for her reaction in the least.

Mississippi's public schools are regularly ranked near the bottom of a bad lot in the U.S., and Ole Miss had problems with basic arithmetic Saturday night. First, they took the dumbest delay of game penalty in the recent history of football, turning a potential; 42-yard field goal to tie the game into a 47-yarder. Rebels Coach Hugh Freeze decided, correctly, that with nine seconds left his team could afford to run a play and try to get a little closer.

"I thought we were plenty clear we were either going to take the flat throw or throw it out of bounds, and then try the field goal," Freeze told ESPN. "He must have felt like he had a shot at the touchdown play there. ... I wish I could do that over, for sure."

Do what over, coach? Oh, this thing where QB Dr. Bo decided Bo knows defense and kissed your one chance at glory goodbye?

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"I'm not going to talk about it," Wallace (no relation) told ESPN. "One-on-one, threw it up -- done."

Well, Bo, some of that is true. You threw it up, and you are done. But one-on-one? In the other 49 states (even South Carolina), people can see that there were two LSU guys back there. Good night, Bo.

INTERLUDE

We'll move on momentarily to the teams that still matter in the chase for the four-team playoff. But first, we must pause, grab a doughnut, and take some time to applaud the fat man.

arkansas-trick-play-fat-guy-td-passSebastian Tretola's football career highlight before Saturday was being ranked the number one junior college prospect... in Iowa. We realize that sounds like we're insulting the man, but it is a fact. He's 6'"5", 350 officially (sure you are, Bassy), so we assume his buffet career is Hall of Fame worthy.

Saturday, his football life changed. Arkansas was playing UAB, because they hired Bret Bielema from the Big 10 and he's still 0-for-SEC career, so they had to grab a win somewhere.

Bret, weeping at the sure knowledge that he will never win a conference game, decided to pull out all the stops in this one, and for the first time since he left the comfort of Wisconsin for a conference that plays varsity football, he made the right call. Sebastian, on behalf of all the world's less than athletic fat dudes, we send our love. Bret, when you're coaching Eastern Illinois and dreaming of what might have been, enjoy this.

STILL STANDING

Remember people complaining that the playoff would kill the importance of the regular season? They could not have been more wrong unless they were Mississippi quarterbacks.

As we move on to Week 10, the following teams effectively control their own playoff destiny (unless justice rises from the grave and strikes down Florida State): Mississippi State, Florida State, Alabama, Auburn, Oregon, Notre Dame, Ole Miss (we know, explanation coming), and Georgia.

Michigan State, Kansas State, and Ohio State can make it in plausible scenarios. Many others can dream, but forget them until it actually comes close to happening. This is where we are as of now.

Someone has to win the SEC West. Alabama, Auburn, Ole Miss, and Mississippi State will keep the round robin going and one will come out alive. Ole Miss can still get there by winning out thanks to their head to head win over 'Bama. The others can weep as they will, but there are no circumstances under which, in the first year of the playoff, the committee is taking two teams from one division. Forget it.

Georgia controls its own fate in the SEC East. The SEC champ is going to the playoff. It's not impossible that if Georgia were to win the SEC Championship Game, the loser of that game could also make the final four.

Florida State and its conglomeration of liars, thieves, misogynists (look it up, Seminole fans), and other criminals have a schedule that fits their penchant for attacking those weaker or simply not paying attention. Louisville is the closest thing they have left that could resemble a challenge. It would all be different if Florida hadn't gotten the death penalty in the form of Muschamp.

Notre Dame is in if they win the rest. Oregon is probably in if they win the rest. Oregon's only left out scenario would involve Mississippi St. going into the SEC title game unbeaten, then losing to Georgia, while the Irish and FSU win out. That could mean two sets of Bulldogs and no Ducks. Still, we're leaving Oregon in the group of control for now.

Michigan St. could win the rest and still miss. Sparty lost to Oregon, and if the SEC champ, FSU, and Notre Dame take three spots and Oregon and MSU have one loss each, that will be the decider for the committee. Ohio State can put itself in roughly the same position with a win over Michigan State: Urban and the boys would need to win the rest and hope for help.

Kansas State needs to win the rest and get lots of help. Oh, and if you're wondering why we're not talking about Marshall, go to the yard, find a stick, and then call Adrian Peterson to teach you how football works.

 

 

 

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