Dear readers, allow me if you will to abandon the editorial "we" and step into the first person for a paragraph or so. I've been a sports fan since I was old enough to understand the term, and an occasionally productive member of society and the workforce for more than two decades now (Yes, I'm the token old man as well as the token male here at Eligible Receiver. Get off my damn lawn.). In that time, I've come to believe strongly that the key to long-term success in hiring and recruiting in any sport or business is this: intelligence is more important than talent. Jameis Winston, Heisman winner, national champion, and crab leg lover, has plenty of the latter, but the former is clearly lacking.

"Dear God, please help... nahhh, my bad, I'm good."

"Dear God, please help... nahhh, my bad, I'm good."

Exhibit A: In case you haven't heard, Jameis made the conscious decision, while apparently sober, to stand on a table in the middle of the Florida State University campus and shout "Fuck her right in the p--!" Many witnesses were present, and their Tweets are the only good thing about this incident.

Yes, Jameis is a college guy. Yes, college guys are, as a group, idiots. Yes, they do things like this and much dumber things on a daily basis. Most college guys, however, are not the face of a multi-million dollar corporation (and if you can find a meaningful difference between a college football program and a corporation other than the nearly-free labor, let us know). The obvious counter to our position on valuing intelligence over talent is the national title FSU won with Winston last year. We concede that point, but maintain that in the long run, there are a lot of talented football players. Most of them choose not to stand on tables and shout obscene references to sexual acts and vulgar terms for genitalia (only plausible defense for Jameis: insanity brought on by having to spend so much time in Tallahassee).

College football's playing field is far from even. The elite programs simply have better players, and sometimes a great athlete can temporary overcome the utter absence of a brain and win some games. In the long run, it will fall apart, especially at the NFL level, and especially for quarterbacks. Check in on JaMarcus Russell and Ryan Leaf, among many others, for proof (but don't get too close to JaMarcus: he will eat you). Check with us in five years about Jameis and Johnny Football. They'll be drunk, eating stolen crab legs, and loudly maintaining that it isn't their fault they never lived up to the hype.

On a more serious note, this is the road that leads to Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson: the notion of superiority and immunity to rules based on football skill and/or celebrity. We'll likely never know for certain the full truth about the sexual assault charge against Winston, because the investigation was botched because of who he is. He was given a free pass on the crab leg theft. But this will bring a stiff punishment. Right?

Free Show U, ever a bastion of integrity, has chosen to teach Jameis a harsh lesson by sitting him for half (yes, half) of the Clemson game this Saturday. That will clearly turn his life around. The FSU AD and school president jointly released a statement because no one could read it without laughing. It said, in part:

"As the university's most visible ambassadors, student-athletes at Florida State are expected to uphold at all times high standards of integrity and behavior that reflect well upon themselves, their families, coaches, teammates, the Department of Athletics and Florida State University. Student-athletes are expected to act in a way that reflects dignity and respect for others."

Well, maybe he was going to respectfully fuck her in the p---.. He's the face of your program, FSU fans. Wish you'd recruited a smart guy yet? Go Tigers.

3 comments on “Famous (for being a moron) Jameis does more moronic things; FSU gently places hand on his wrist

  1. Jameis

    Why would you censor "pussy," but not the word "fuck?"

    1. Allen Post author

      Jameis, two things. One, I know you're not the real Jameis Winston because you have coherent sentence structure and spelled all the words correctly, so congratulations. Second, if with all the things in the news lately you can't understand why I, as a man, would choose not to write a word that is by nature, mosogynistic, I don't think I can help you. It's a word we can do without in 2014. If it's one you enjoy, vaya con dios. Thanks for reading, regardless of any difference of opinion!

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