Lauren's currently driving across the country -- last night's stop: Nashville -- to move to Phoenix because she's a terrible friend who is abandoning me forever (*sob*), so I'm taking over Rants & Raves for the week. Let's do this.
Allen: Atlanta Falcons
"Damned Falcons. I have nothing new to say about this damn team. We made a guy who's never started a game look like Joe Montana. 41 points. To the fricking Vikings."
Jackie: UGA/Miami Dolphins
Jackie had a LOT of feelings about Saturday's Tennessee/Georgia game:
11:55 AM: "Let's get this rolling. Georgia is about to kick off for the Tennessee game. Nervous is a word."
1:14 PM: "Whew, ok. Georgia seems to have woken up. CHUUUUUUUUBB! So much fun to yell in a low voice every single time he runs the ball."
2:03 PM: "Ugh, Hutson Mason!!!!"
3:27 PM: "Being a Georgia fan is so tough."
3:38 PM: "My normal breathing patterns should resume in the next five to ten minutes. Damn you Georgia."
In case you're like me and don't follow college football, here's a scoring summary of that game, so the timestamps make a little more sense to you.
And on the Dolphins: "I cannot get it up for a big win against Oakland in London. Nothing about that is American."
Can't argue with that. Related: the Raiders fired their coach last night. I imagine plays like this had something to do with it.
Lauren: Dallas Cowboys
"Lauren has so many thoughts. But her head hurts so bad and typing them hurts.
I met some Australian blokes last night (see what I did there?) who are on their first trip to the USA and going to an NFL game before they leave. What do you think the over/under is on how long the convo lasted before they got an America's Team lecture?"
Madeline: Green Bay Packers
"What’s not to like about getting a big 'W' over a divisional rival! The cherry on top? Beating Jay Cutler! Yay! The Bears didn’t score a point in the second half! How does that happen? How do you not score when you have NBA-sized players on the field?
I don’t think it’s quite time to r-e-l-a-x yet, Mr. Rodgers. Matt Forte, at least in the first half, ran all over us. All the commentators kept saying, 'Forte is back! After a slow start to the season, he is back!'
No, he’s playing our rush defense, 32nd overall. We are the worst team. We are crappier than the Oakland Raiders, who just fired their coach. Unbelievable. Let’s not get carried away with the win quite yet.
We needed this win and I’m thrilled we got it."
Makeda: Philadelphia Eagles
So, I lied. I don't have many thoughts about the Eagles. They were overdue for a loss, they were down to one starting offensive lineman (I love you, Jason Peters!!), and I'd had a bad feeling about this game all week. So I'm pretty okay with taking a loss by five when our offense was comatose on the field. Especially since Frank Gore was apparently coated in Crisco, judging by our defense's inability to tackle him. We're 3-1 going into October. Let's watch Darren Sproles again to remind ourselves why.