Yup. This is really happening.

Yup. This is really happening.

The NFL takes a lot of flack for Thursday night games. Players don't like them because they have half the time to recover from the previous week's games. Fans don't like them because the matchups aren't as good, and amazingly, we don't want football every single night of the week. (What is this, baseball??) The only people who like Thursday night games are the league and its owners, for whom Thursday night games = caaaaaaaaaaaaash money.

But tonight...tonight's game takes the cake. Titans @ Jaguars. As you can see from the graphic above, there is literally no aspect of the game these teams don't suck at. It's Week 16 and they have four wins BETWEEN them. The Jaguars are halfway to being relocated to London. The Titans are so insignificant that we at Eligible Receiver didn't even have a tag for them. I had to create it for this post. This is the kind of game you should only be able to watch if you are unfortunate enough to live in the home markets. But instead, the Scheduling Gods are forcing the Trash Bowl to End All Trash Bowls down all our throats.

My first thought when I saw this game on the schedule was, "Holy shit, you'd have to give me a LOT of alcohol to sit through that abomination."

And so, for you, dear reader, the Eligible Receiver staff presents the rules for the Thursday Night Trash Bowl Drinking Game.

Drink 1 for every:
- 3rd and long
- Punt
- Sack
- Shot of the stadium with tons of empty seats
- Non sequitur from commentators trying to fill dead air
- Mention of the 2015 draft in the first half

Drink 2 for every:
- First down
- Offensive TD
- 15+ yard play
- Random stat offered by commentators to make the game sound interesting and/or competitive
- Reference to the future success of either franchise
- Mention of the 2015 draft in the second half

Drink 3 for every:
- Turnover
- 30+ yard play
- Mention of either team moving to LA

Take a shot for every:
- Defensive/special teams TD
- Mention of either team moving to London
- Reference to Charlie Whitehurst as "Clipboard Jesus"
- Reference to Charlie Whitehurt being one of Nashville's Most Beautiful People [Ed. note: REALLY, Nashville??]

Take a celebratory shot if:
- Blake Bortles breaks the Jaguars' record for passing yards by a rookie (he needs 218 yards)

Shotgun a beer if:
- The starting QB of either team gets benched
- The game ends in a shutout

Drink everything in your house if:
- The game ends in a tie

Enjoy the game, everyone!!

One comment on “Thursday Night Trash Bowl: The Drinking Game

  1. BigBird

    Add fantasy football managers in their championships to the list of highly interested viewers!!! I'm starting the Jaguars' defense and my opponent is starting Toby Gerhart. Only about an $800 difference between first and second!!

Leave a reply


Current ye@r *